A Day At Grandma's House

Today was a special treat for me.  Today I got to have 3 of my 7 darling grandchildren here.  Holly needed to do homework and Angelica had a meeting.  That meant that I got to spend some extra time with Elizabeth, Robert and Vaughn.

Vaughn arrived first.  We had breakfast together.  I finished my eggs and he had Apple Jacks (a definite favorite of his!)  We laughed and sang songs while he ate.  We sang "I Love You and You Love Me....", "Once There Was A Snowman", "Ten Little Indians" and "Popcorn Popping".  He joined in with various words and lots of hand motions to the songs. I have always enjoyed singing to the grandchildren while I am sitting with them as they eat.

After breakfast Vaughn and I went downstairs to play with balls and the bowling tetherball.  He wanted me to count before he would knock the pins down.  So cute!

Elizabeth and Robert soon arrived and we played and played and played downstairs.  We played a LOT of games of Hide N Seek.  Elizabeth was a really good hider.  Little Robert would get Vaughn to hide with him and then they would both squeal with laughter as soon as I would start looking.  They would then start looking for Elizabeth.  Little Vaughn would walk around with his hands up (questioning where could she be).  As soon as we would find her, they would scream and run back to the family room.  And Elizabeth could hardly keep her giggles contained while we were trying to find her! So much fun!

We played with various toys, then headed back upstairs just as Angelica came to pick up Vaughn.  It was so sad to have him go.

Elizabeth and Robert ate lunch, then washed their hands, put on aprons, and we set to work making cupcakes.  They helped break the eggs, put in the water and oil, and mix it.  They both licked the beaters and the bowl, then went downstairs to watch a movie while the cupcakes were cooking and cooling.

 

We had to take a quick trip to Ace Hardware to pick up Paint Thinner for Grandpa.  While we were there we got to have our own bags of FREE POPCORN!  Hurray for free popcorn!

By the time we got home, the cupcakes were cool enough to frost and decorate.  I spread the frosting and Elizabeth decorated them with sprinkles of all colors.  They then enjoyed eating one.

They were ready for Holly to come, so we cleaned up, and enjoyed reading some books and playing phone games while we waited.

All in all.....it was a wonderful time with these sweet children.  I am so blessed.  

Putting It Out There

As I have read my daughter-in-laws' blogs, I have been so impressed with how open and honest they are with what is happening in their lives.  I have always struggled with others knowing my weaknesses and feeling like they are judging me......I guess my self-esteem is not the greatest.  I try to be positive and happy as much as possible, but sometimes....life just gets to me.  Right now is one of those times.

Bob and I just returned from a trip to Colorado.  We loved visiting with Dave, Deborah, Colton and our new little Graham.  It was such a joy to be with them.  We had such a wonderful time being in their home and spending time with our sweet grandsons.  We played, hiked, swam, read, sang and cuddled. It broke my heart to leave them.  I cried off and on for the next 10 hours or so.   I looked at the pictures and videos we took of them and then at the pictures that included me.  I was disgusted.  I know that my grandchildren love me unconditionally NOW.  But....will they be embarrassed by a fat grandma as they get older?  I laid awake until almost 4 a.m. thinking about all of it.  I have struggled with my weight my entire life.  It is so difficult for me to lose weight.  I want to be healthy.  I am missing so many organs that my poor body is just working itself to death to keep me alive!  I haven't exercised since Thanksgiving.  I have sat at a desk and computer for hours and hours each day for the last year.  I was only eating one meal a day.  Obviously those things are not the best for me.  I don't like to go out in public.  I don't like the way I look and feel. 

So.  Today I got up and walked.  I had yogurt and grape nuts for breakfast.  I went to the grocery store and bought lots of fruits and vegetables.  I want to be healthy.  It is so difficult to always have to do this by myself.  I don't really have anyone to talk to about all this......who truly understands how difficult this is for me.  My husband is skinny.  My daughter-in-laws are skinny (it just blows my mind that they can have amazing bodies so soon after giving birth).  My sons are skinny.....and if they do put on a little weight, it comes off quickly and easily.  My in-laws are skinny.  My friends are skinny. I always feel like the fat one in the group (and with good reason when I look at the pictures).  My family has been kind and have not said negative things to me - to my face.....and I am grateful for that.  I already know.  I just want to "put it out there" that I am working on it.  I will have days that don't go so well.  I will have days that are great.  I have pictures of my grandchildren in front of me to remind me that I don't want to embarrass them later.  Right now they are my greatest motivation.  I already know I want to be healthy and have energy, but to enjoy them and do things with them as they get older is really really important to me.

Okay.  So now I've said it.  I've blogged it.  It is out there for others to see.  I've cried.  I'm embarrassed.  I am overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to eat healthy, exercise, work, and do everything else I am supposed to do.......and do it all alone.  But I love my little ones so much, that I will do what it takes to have a better quality of life.  This will be hard.  Harder than any of you know.  But I will do my best.